Dealing with the Illness of Loved Ones and Other Challenges in Life

In 1992, my wife began showing signs of muscle weakness. At first it was mild. She had pains in her arms and legs, often her eyes would cross and her eyelids would shut involuntarily. Over about 6 months, the symptoms became worse and someone had to be home with her around the clock. I worked the day shift and my son the night shift which enabled one of us to be home at all times. Eventually she became totally unable to care for herself. Soon we had a diagnosis of Myastheina Gravis. We were not sure what the future would hold. After about a year, and many, many trips to the doctor and hospital, she went into remission and we were, indeed, a joyful family as she began to regain her abilities.

She did very well for several years, then illness struck again. She would begin to experience many behavioral difficulties which no one could adequately explain. More doctors and multiple hospitalizations. More discouraging diagnosis. Then came the heart attacks, two to be precise, and ultimately 3 full blown strokes and a severe bout with depression over a one year period. By this time my son had joined the military and our ministry had taken us far away from our other four children who, now, were grown and had families of their own. It became necessary to leave our ministry of many years and move closer to three of our children. More doctors and hospitals, most recently a two month stay at which time we almost lost her.

Recently, the overall diagnosis for these newer conditions became Vascular Dementia, resulting from the strokes. Once again, this wonderful lady found herself totally dependent upon others for even the most simple things in life such as dressing, bathing, walking, eating and more. She is not always able to speak as she would like or formulate her words. Often, she will sit on the edge of the bed and weep, thinking that life will never again be normal for her.

One day we went outdoors to sit in the sunshine and, as we looked off in the distance, there was a woman in a wheel chair making her way across the distant parking lot. She was alone, pushing herself backwards with one foot, a few inches at a time. I was a bit worried, in that moment, that Susan would see herself (in that woman) at some time in the future, so I did not say anything for fear of bringing that to mind. We were both silent and then, as the lady made her way behind a building and out of our view, Sue looked up at me and said in words as clear as ever, "We should be thankful for our blessings!"

 "Thankful"?, I thought to myself! My wife, over several years, has been ill beyond anything she deserves, and we should be thankful? We have lost our ministry, our retirement, our freedom and my wife has lost the ability to care for herself and somehow this seemed, to me, like a strange way for her to react. After all, she could very well be in the same situation as this poor lady in the wheel chair,  and in the not to distant future at that.

These thoughts lasted only for a few fleeting seconds. The Lord convicted me immediately.Then, I was reminded of my wife's powerful, albeit simple words. "We should be thankful for our blessings!" In that moment I started counting those blessings, as that great hymn suggests. Naming them, "one by one". We live comfortably, while finances are a challenge we have sufficient. We can communicate with each other, hug each other, share quiet moments throughout the day! We are able to enjoy our children and grandchildren. We can get out and move about many days. I have the physical and emotional strength to serve my wife in these days and most of all, we have a God who loves, enables and cares for us each step of the way. Then I realized that we had not lost our ministry at all. It has simply changed. I have a new, God given ministry to my wife and I hope she realizes that she ministers to me, also, in countless ways.

Some thoughts to remember.....
During these days I have come to realize that illness is not evidence of God 'punishing' us for past 'misdeeds'. Unfortunately, there are some who would have you believe this. God allows illness to visit His people for a reason. That reason may not always be clear, at first, but we can be assured, whatever it is, God knows exactly what is happening and why. He loves you and cares for you and He will work out His perfect will through you, even when illness is present.

Illness always brings with it the need for reliance upon God. During times of illness we feel most vulnerable. Some would say helpless. God wants us to exercise our faith in ways that bring honor and glory to Him. It is during times of affliction that God works His most powerful ways through us. He makes His presence felt by those who need Him the most. It is when we are at our most vulnerable that we 'cast all our care upon Him'. Depending upon Him for strength, endurance, understanding and compassion brings into our life a power that is sufficient to enable us to serve Him most effectively.

God has a grand design for our lives. We may not always understand it. It may not always be a plan that we would choose. But, as we stand in His presence, we come to realize His wisdom, perhaps in ways not understood before. For His people God works all things out for the good.

Finally, He will not leave you or forsake you! God is an ever present help in time of need. He is there for you to talk with, cry with, rejoice with and serve with. He is alongside of you and He will never be absent. That is true throughout life, but never more true than is times of great distress.

This knowledge is what helps each of us deal with our life circumstance. It is the realization that God has brought many blessings our way and He continues to do so. He is an ever loving, ever present God. It is upon Him that we rely. Whatever the future holds, we do not walk alone. It is not necessary for us to deal with these realities by ourselves. God draws up alongside, each step of the way.

Are you facing challenging circumstances in life? Are you dealing with the illness of a loved one? Please know that you need not do it alone! God stands, even now, at your side ready to guide, comfort, strengthen, and enable you to navigate difficult waters. Take some time to seek Him out and, as you do, "count your blessings"!

"The will of God will never take you
Where the grace of God cannot keep you,
Where the arms of God cannot support you,.
Where the riches of God cannot supply your needs,
Where the power of God cannot endow you."

May God Bless you!  Gary D. Laws